French Literature Reviews with Alex - Part 1

Number 1: L'homme de granit (the man of granite).

L'homme de granit is a piece of classic literature, in that it was written in 1971. With this in mind we meet our heroine Beverley. Beverley, we glean from the cover, has long blonde hair and is in an artist and also teacher at the local secondary school in the un-named derbyshire town where this unlikely story is set.
Beverley is friends with the eccentric and irascible Mrs Dunlopp who in her old age decides to go and live in New Zealand and also to take advantage of her young friends poverty by arranging a will that basically forces her to marry Mrs Dunlopps great nephew, with whom Beverley must share a house for the next 6 months. (p.s can you actually set up wills in such a ridiculous manner and whilst your still alive, cos if so i'm totally going to do it).

So enter the great-nephew, courdroy and sweater wearing man of granite himself Grant Gard. From the cover we learn that Grant has chiselled looks and a penchant for brooding. This is basically all there is to learn about him, plus the fact that he is an avowed mysoginist and says he'll never marry.

Now I know what you're thinking, young chiselled man, young lady artiste – there's gonna be some sexy time here. Well no, you'd be wrong. Just because Beverley is an artist doesn't mean she's a slag bag, oh no. And it's totally not her fault that one of her teacher colleagues and the son of a family who exhibit her art in their restaurant (Derek and Neil – so 70s) are like totally in love with her and keep trying to get her to marry them and kissing her whether she likes it or not. And she totally doesn't lead them on by telling them she won't marry them and then inviting them to parties and dancing with them, or getting them to take her places as and when it suits her. I mean, it's the 70s, it's not like she's allowed to drive herself.

So cue lots of Grant being a moody a-hole and calling Beverley a saucy wench every page, and Beverley wandering around being pathetic and wishing; oh if only Grant would love me because he's such a wanker and so very chiselled that it really turns me on. They do get married, even though they claim to still hate each other so that Beverley can use the money she gets to help her impoverished mother (who lives in birmingham – so, you know, must be poor).
In the end after much rather dull I-hate-you-oh-ok-kiss-me-then nonsense it turns out they were both only being idiots because they loved each other so much and it just took Beverley going away for a few days for them to realise this. And then they have a touching reunion where Beverley asks Grant if he'd like her to quit her job, but it's not necessary – he's quite the modern man and is willing to consider having a wife who works...maybe.

I hope you enjoyed this first episode in my tour of french literature, coming up soon we have “un eclair de flash” followed by a more modern piece; “le play-boy du desert”.

Bises